Holiday Merth

It's Christmas time which means it's time once again for my mother to holiday shop. She asked me what I wanted this year. I responded, "Knives." (to cook with, people. Not to stab comedians with). My mom said, "Ehhh. Hmmm. How about I pay for you to get your upper lip waxed." I said, "I think that'll be a little hard to wrap. And does that fit under a tree?"

You know you have some mustache when your mother won't kiss you.