Monday, December 17, 2007

The Morning After Six Months of Radio Silence

My best friend Anna approached me with a proposition. Well, really, more of a complaint and a half hour of bitching, but somewhere in there was an idea that required me to do work.

Anna said:

“Ugh, Rachael remember that blog I was interning for? ‘The Morning After?’ It was a sex advice blog.”

“Yeah”

“Well they don’t do the blog anymore. In fact, they only did one blog entry and then disappeared. Dan Dude and Matilda can go suck it. They start this blog, put an ad out for interns, and I respond. I do all this work. I wrote the bios, for god sake. You’d think they could have written the bios as it’s their lives. I wrote the opening page that describes the mission of the blog. Again, that was there idea. What blog does that? Who reads a blog’s mission statement? And, now, I am not going to get my college credit.”

“Anna you’re 8 years graduated from college.”

“I know was going to sell my credits on Ebay. I’m a musician I need the fundage, I can’t do a free internship.”

“Can you sell college credit on the internet?”

“Of course the University of Phoenix does it every day.”

“But they offer classes.”

“Well, I’ve done the internship for the student buying the credits. Basically, I’m being paid for doing their internship. I’m providing a service. Like, ‘Oopsy. Dude, I totally forgot to get an internship and I need one to graduate and the semester ends next week. Better go on Ebay and buy one.’”

“Uhh”

“This is hardly the point. The point is I did all this work. I went through bags and bags of mail to find good questions for Dan Dude and Matilda to answer and then they never answered them. We have sex lives to save! Now with the one measly entry on ‘Morning After’ it looks like the blog was created solely to answer that one stupid question. But it wasn’t that woman’s idea to create the blog. She just had a sex question. I’m sure if that woman had a blog she would have dealt with her sex problem with a metaphor about the Grand Canyon or something. She didn’t need a whole new blog for one question. But the world needs a sex help blog with lots of varied questions. We must help humanity before the world melts and the seas turn to tar pits of oil. Rachael, will you help me answer these questions on your blog?”

“Well, I have jokes and stuff to post.”

“Sure, we don’t have to do it everyday maybe once a week or something.”

“OK. We’ll try answering sex questions once a week.”

“Outstanding! Can I get college credit for this?”

“I don’t have any of the paper work.”

“What if I get you the paper work will you fill it out.”

"I'm not really a company. I'm just a girl."

"Fine it'll be internship in women's studies."

"Uh. OK."

"Great. This Tuesday you'll answer the question."

"I guess so."

So tomorrow smallhands_ick will answer a sex a question selected by my best friend Anna answered by me and not Dan Dude or his cohort Matilda, who have a great deal more sexual experience than me.

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