Superman Flying Circles Around Venus

I think for Jesus' birthday this year I'm going to throw him a roast.
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So I fell hardcore off the horoscope wagon at the beginning of this month. I hadn't read a horoscope for about 2 months and then... I don't know-- Dec 1st rolled around and splat! Hurled off the wagon. I visited Susan Miller's astrologyzone.com for my December horoscope. Below is an excerpt:

There is also the possibility this month that an old flame may call to ask you out, possibly for New Year's Eve. If you suffered a painful breakup with this person, think twice about accepting. With Venus retrograde...

If Gabriel Byrne thinks he's gonna just walk back into my life after giving me that bogus number years ago he best think again. There is no way I'm leaving Jack for his over the hill, Irish, actor ass. I thought maybe we could share our respective arts, that's why I went to see him in that play. I don't need him playing his vacillating games. With his I'm busy excuses, "I have to be on set all day. My kids need me. I need to visit family in Ireland." Bla Bla Bla. Where's the us time, Gabe? So Susan Miller don't you worry your pretty astrological head, I don't care if it is Venus going retrograde, bring whatcha got planet of love !

Comments

Anonymous said…
I guess I will cancel the plane ticket I bought for you.

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