The Awful Truth

More proof that my mother is "Just not that into me" and is probably leaving me for other offspring. Last time I brought this topic up it was in reference to my mom not returning a phone call while she was vacationing in Florida during Thankgiving. Catch yourself up by clicking here.

The plot thickens in regard to my mother's un-auntly relationship with my first cousins (her brother's children.) My second cousin, Warren ( a second cousin is the child of your parent's cousin.), is getting married in Florida the weekend directly proceeding Christmas. I find this offensive and am not attending. My mother, however, is. Her reasoning for validating these highly inconvenient neptuals is that Elanor, Warren's mom (my mom's cousin) has attended everyone else in the family's weddings. I told my mom, "I haven't had a wedding."
My mom responded, "Oh yeah, I know I meant your cousins."
"But they're not your kids. I'm your kid."
"Well, uhh, umm." She continued to stammer. I can't believe she's seeing my cousins behind my back like this. My mom is probably going down to Florida not for Warren's wedding but to rendevous with my first cousins. I bet my mom has taken my cousins out shopping for winter sweaters and knee high socks. Well the joke is on you mom, global warming means we don't need winter sweaters any more. Ha!

Where's the self help book for when your mom leaves you for other people's children?