I'm Not Out of Jack

I guess my boyfriend Jack is feeling a little threatened by my fiancé, James', impending visit. Last night out of the blue my boyfriend Jack did the sweetest thing ever.

You see, even though I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world sometimes I feel like I've missed out on a certain amount of life experience having been in a relationship with Jack for nearly 9 years. There has never been any cause for any man to dedicate an Air Supply song to me. I believe if I had been living the swinging, single life of my friends I too would have an Air Supply memory.

Last night while playing trivia at Professor Thom's Bar Jack picked a fight with me. John Quinn, trivia master, posed the question, "What country uses the Bot as currency." I told the team the answer was Thailand. Though, I haven't been to Thailand myself I have stayed in a number of youth hostels in my time and a majority of hostel goers travel to Thailand. Jack said that there's no way that the answer was Thailand. He suggested the Bot was a unit of currency for Lazaria. Which is just ridiculous. Several years ago Jack journeyd to Lazaria on a humanitarian mission. He was sent by some non-profit to help the Lazarians not use sexual prophylactics. While he lived there Jack wrote me about the country. Two of the many things he shared with me were that 1)Lazaria is populated by five people and therefore 2) they have no currency. They just share everything because there are only five of them—it’s an illustration of high school sex education gone awry.

Well, Jack denied ever having been to Lazaria. Further, he accused me of not caring enough about him to know where he's been in the world. He got so irrationally pissed he broke up with me and left the bar. I was devastated. Utterly crushed. I sat there with my friends in shock and just drank and drank and drank, but it didn't make the pain go away. Eventually, the bar closed and I had to go home.

I trudged through Manhattan in the rain to the Q train. Eventually the Q train came and the MTA captain announced that the Q train would be making all local stops. Ugh! Could my night get any worse? The rain poured down on me as walked the ten minutes from the 7th Ave subway stop to my apartment. When I got home I found Jack sopping wet waiting on the stoop for me. He turned his face up and looked into my eyes and then he begin to sing,

"I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you/ I know you were right believing for so long/ I'm all out of love, what am I without you?/ I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong/

I want you to come back and carry me home/ Away from this long lonely nights/ I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too/ Does the feeling seem oh so right?/ And what would you say if I called on you now? And said that I can't hold on/ There's no easy way, it gets harder each day/ Please love me or I'll be gone/I'll be gone."

I began to weep tears of joy. The whole thing had been a ruse. Jack said, "I know how much you wanted to experience someone you loved pining over you. Happy Middle of August!" It's so nice to be with someone who knows me so well and cares enough to break-up with me, even if it were just for a few hours.


Anonymous said…
I do not understand how you can have a boyfriend and a fiance..... Eventually Jack will not be at the stoop....
rachael said…
Unfotunately, sometimes a post isn't for a new reader. My fiance is also my friend and he was in need of a wife at the age of 42. My boyfriend Jack and I decided together that we'd help our friend James in his time of need. Even if that time of need is 8 years from now.