Not The Cheeriest Friday

While running errands in Union Square I walked by some actvivists who asked me, "Do you have a minute for the Earth, Ma'am?" (Maybe they said Global warming) First off, Ma'am?! Sure, my hair is begining to grey, but I am not tall enough to ever be a ma'am. Secondly, no.

"No, I do not have a minute for you girls with your plastic clipboards, made from oil, to write my name with your plastic pen, made from oil, on your sheet of paper that you had to kill a tree for (or burn a bunch of electricity to recycle). No, I do not have a minute to listen to your save the Earth spiel while you don clothes made of cotton grown in nitrogen that runs off into the world's water supply and contributes to global warming. I'm sorry girls, but I don't know if you heard, the world is polluted, heating up, and becoming more paved over every day. Soon it won't be uninhabitable for humans so I need all the minutes I can grab before the chemicals give me cancer or I contract some crazy disease, or before there are so few resources for survival I die in a class war that looks kind of like a race war.

Trust me, if I thought I could produce an environmentally friendly formula that would rid the world of 87% of the human population in a minute I'd totally stop and talk to you, but I can't. Instead, I'm going to buy a book that is made from a tree that once housed bacteria, birds, mold, and other orgamisms. But, thanks for asking, I appreciate not being excluded."


dl004d said…
It starts out as "Do you have a minute for the earth" but soon it becomes apparent that it is really "Do you have money for the earth?"