Old People Don't Like Short People

This morning on the NPR I listened to some political analysis by a Ms. Roberts. Ms. Roberts thought that both the Democrat and Republican front runners were switching there message to appeal to the more extreme factions of thier respective parties. Ms. Roberts thought that though, Clinton and Guilani might win their party's nomination their new stances might hurt them in the general election in November because Americans in general are more moderate.

Which goes to prove the point I was trying to make to my mother Sunday morning, that comedians shouldn't try to change their material because of who is in the audience. Why? Because comedians aren't unethical politicians desperately looking for validation from anyone who is able to vote. I don't care if you can vote. I'm not going to change myself and my art just to try to please certain people who if I actually got to know wouldn't respect anyway.

I performed at a show Saturday in a catering hall. The designated joke telling space was on the dance floor. There were no risers nor any type of stage located on the dance floor or anywhere else on the premises. My five foot one inch frame could not be seen by the cane carriers sitting beyond the front row of tables. Now, did I grow 3 feet taller so that people in the back could see me? No. Did I quickly learn how to walk on stilts,then cut down a tree, and wittle myself a pair? No. Why? Because I'm short. I'm not going to vacillate on that issue. I'm not going to try to pretend to be someone I'm not. I'm not going to be 5ft 1inch one show where there is a raised stage or a raked audience and then be 8ft tall the next show where I'm playing in a black hole. Nor will I try to trick the audience into thinking I am tall by making a bunch of basketball jokes or "Did you ever notice when you visit ancient ruins you always bump your head on the door frame?"

Like Poppey the Sailor-Man "I am who I am," my art is my art, my jokes are my jokes. If you don't like it may I suggest booking Hillary Clinton or Rudy Guilliani for next show.