Thursday, February 07, 2008

Spinning my Oral Health

Hey everyone I didn't die!

In honor of the political season I would like to positively spin my handling of my wisdom teeth extraction recovery.

THE SPIN:

Rachael Parenta had all four wisdom teeth extracted Wednesday morning. Rachael is not taking any prescription meds. That"s how tough this cookie is. She's bad ass! Dedicated to her stand-up comedy craft she performed a set a mere 11 hours after surgery and a great set. That's dedication and commitment.

THE TRUTH:
After having all four wisdom teeth, (all of which were only partially impacted) extracted Wednesday morning Rachael Parenta is currently taking children's liquid Ibuprofen. Her oral surgeon offered her the best in prescription pain killers, but Rachael's delicate body chemistry does not react well to that stuff. She has to take liquid Ibuprofen because at the age of thirty Rachael still hasn't learned to swallow pills whole. Her medical condition (of recently yanked teeth) doesn't allow her to chew the meds made for adults. At least she weighs as much as an 11 year old. (Though it is doubtful she is as tall.)

Rachael then traveled to the Bowery Poetry Comedy Club to perform on a show she had forgotten she was booked on. If she were all on top of her game she would have not scheduled the two events on the same day. Her lack of tolerance for what many call "kick ass drugs" enabled her to soberly tell funny jokes. She kept her commitment to do the set because she knows she has garners no respect in NYC and it would have taken her 2 years to get re booked.

If Rachael were at all industrious she would have take the script from the doctor and then sold her pills far and wide across New York City--making herself some rent money. But she is too lazy.

SUMMATION:
You might vote for the lady described in the Spin at least you'd invite her to a party. But we can't say the same for the lady described in the Truth section.

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