Monday, April 07, 2008

FCC Has Nothing On My New Hire

Today’s blogpost has been censored by my internal censor. I hired an internal censor about three weeks ago and today is her first day. Apparently her first act of business is to disallow the publication of today's post. She thought the cookie analogy I wrote, though comedically brilliant and emotionally poignant, does not veil the facts of my life and the feelings I have regarding those facts well enough and could cause undue complications in my actual life. More importantly, according to her, innocent people could be hurt. Needless to say I think my internal censor is a bureaucratic bitch and I should fire her at once. I mean I am an artist and I should not be censored for any reason. Feelings be damned! Hurt feelings just lead to more art right? And more art is just what this world needs—ok that’s not true at all. And sometimes psychic pain just leads to crying on the floor of the bathroom. I think that’s just me, though, and my feelings aren’t at risk here. So where does she get off.

I can’t fire her, however, because her contract is iron clad.—God damn censor unions.

It’s too bad too. It was a good analogy metaphor about those saw dust cookies that are on hand by the register at your favorite New Jersey Diner. They are free for the taking. They look so good and who doesn’t want a cookie, and so grab one (DELETED DELETED DELETED)

You pain in my ass.

4 comments:

Stuart Ian Burns said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stuart Ian Burns said...

Don't worry, my whole blog is an act of self-censorship. The stories I could tell. I even have rules. I do seem to be breaking (3) quite a lot lately though. Ooops.

rachael said...

My social life could probably benefit from such rules, but fuck it. The real rule I should have is to proof-read and rewrite before posting.

Julie said...

This entry is brilliant! It should go in your eventual book.