Sometimes I forget I'm white which can be a problem in the summer. I get all cocky and go to the beach, and don't bring suntan lotion. " I don't need suntan lotion," I say, "I'm Italian." Well, it turns out Italians are actually white people. Who knew? Despite what 1920s Alabama resident might say. And now this white person is red from the sternum up. Because not only did I not put on sunblock, I also wore a skimpy tanktop as I walked the Coney Island boardwalk for three hours mid-day. My brilliance sometimes even surprises myself.