Something

On the afternoon news today I witnessed a woman, who had just finished voting in the Republican primary for governor, say "We need to bring honesty back to NJ. Politics is so corrupt these days." Perhaps this lady was remembering Jersey, England politics. Though she did not posess a British dialect. I don't recall in my lifetime when the United State of New Jersey was ever known for its honest politics. I don't recall in 4th grade, while learning New Jersey history, Mrs. Shapter (my 4th grade teacher) telling us of the earnst and honest NJ politicians. In fact, I distinctly remember tales of the early 1900s when dead people voted multiple times in NJ, and stories of insane gerrymandering. It's weird but because that happened over 100 years ago, I'm kind of nostalgic for brazen corruption.
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quick joke.

Their are some crazy drinks out there these days. I went to a bar last night and this girl next to me ordere a big black dildo. I was like, "What the hell is that?"
"5 Shots of Jaegermister."
"Damn that's a lot to put in your mouth....ohhhhhh."
I told her I couldn't handle that right now so I ordered something smaller---the Irish Dildo. It's two fingers of Jameson. Because sometimes all a girl needs is two fingers.
(rim shot. hello!)