Friday, October 12, 2007

Don't Go Breaking My Heart

As long time readers and friends know I am a Yankee fan. Unlike most Yankees fans I'm in the unfortunate position of being friends with Redsox fans. A series of events starting with my acceptance to Emerson College located in Boston, MA followed by my matriculation and then graduation from said college led to this development. I made some good friends up in New England and some of those good friends moved down here to NYC. These friends frequent a Redsox friendly bar on 2nd Avenue and so, to spend quality time with them I find myself frequenting a Redsox friendly bar on 2nd Avenue.

My time spent at this bar as given me insight into this "Redsox Nation" (the fans that devote their lives to the Redsox). I find these fans are overly obsessed, not with the Redsox, but with the Yankees. The night the Redsox swept the Los Angeles Angels of Aneheim the bar patrons began to chant "Yankees Suck! Yankees Suck!" Uhhh. The Yankees were not playing the Redsox that night. In fact the Yankees weren't playing at all that night. I think a more logical chant would be something like "We're number 1! We're number !" Or "Here we go Redsox! Here we go!" But instead of loving themselves these Redsox fans obsessively hate the Yankees. This type of behaviour is also found in broken hearted people who just can't seem to move on from the relationship.

Yes, I'm saying that the "Redsox Nation" once dated the Yankees long ago and their collective heart is still broken. They can't see their own accomplishments because their ex-boyfriend still exists, and he's going about living his life as if the Redsox never existed. We know the Redsox Nation once dated the Yankees how else would they be familiar with the Yankees sexual practices such as "sucking?" And you know how much you loved that action when you were together. There is nothing demeaning in providing pleasure to a partner, Redsox Nation. I know it hurts Redsox Nation but it's time to move on with your life. Find a new boyfriend. Stop with all this negative energy and go forth and find new love. Perhaps those Cleavland Indians you'll be hanging out with this week or maybe the Mets. You and the Mets have less of a conflict of interest. All I'm saying is nothing sounds more inferior than the constant mentioning of your supposed rival.

And let's face it, everyone. The Rookies are winning the whole thing.

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