Problem Solved

The MPAA (The Motion Picture Association of America) rates movies so parents know how suitable movies are for their children. This rating system has led to censorship. Film makers re-cut their films in order to get a more marketable rating for their films (It's hard to advertise a movie that has been rated NC-17). It seems children and film makers are at odds. I think I have found a solution: prohibit children under 17 from watching movies. If children aren't allowed to watch movies then there is no need for a rating system or censorship. We already disallow children from consuming alcohol, tabacco, and transfats. They can't vote or drive. Let's take away cinema. If they need to be entertained give them a book by Henry Miller or Anis Nin, both are highly respected authors. Give them Moby Dick by the time they finish it they'll be old enough to rent the Gregory Peck movie version. Or make them play outside. If we really want to protect kids then let's stop paying lip service and really protect them. The movie theatre seats are bad for their backs, the popcorn will scar their lungs, the dark is scary, and movies corrupt the innocent.

You know what? Let's just ban children. No more procreating. If you want a child you have to clone your 18-year-old self. Don't worry most kids live at home well past their 18th birthday you'd still get quality time with


Nina Paley said…
You so have my vote when you run for president.
Christina said…
I totally agree. Down with children! They are not our future! I'm getting t-shirts made as I write this.