A Senior Moment

I've decided that high school students and politicians are the same.

Every election the candidates like to tell us how humbly they began. They all started out poor working in a coal mine, near a coal mine, digging trapped miners out of mines, or at worked at a McDonalds. I think they try to impress upon us the "I was poor just like you" so that we think they'll have our interests at heart when they are elected. When they are elected they don't do shit for us, rather they do the bidding of mega corporations and interest groups. Is it that formerly poor people are easily bribed? No. I think it's a case of Senioritis.

Senioritis is usually defined as a particular type of laziness that afflicts seniors in the second half of their senior year after they have already been accepted to college. I suggest there is a second type of Senoritis and I like to dub it Senioritis B (Like Hepatitis B except it's not blood virus). Senioritis B afflicts more than just high school seniors. I believe it's also the cause for politician poverty amnesia. In many high schools in the U.S. Freshman begin their high school career (the only career that is deemed more successful the fewer years you spend doing it) in September where they get beaten on and harassed by Juniors and Seniors while previously abused Sophomores look on quietly. Eventually, these freshman become seniors, and when they do they in turn beat-up and humiliate the incoming freshman. The new seniors never say, "I remember when I was a freshman and the beatings were awful. It took me 6 months to realize there wasn't actually a pool on the roof of the school. Every Friday in December I'd search for the heated roof pool while wearing nothing but a speedo. I contracted pneumonia that year." Instead, the new seniors think to themselves, "It's my turn to do a little ass kicking."

Power and money in the U.S. work just like high school. You have some son/daughter of a pig farmer who grew up too poor to even eat the pigs his parents raised. He/She somehow was able to "make something” of herself/himself and then when he/she gets into power she/he thinks, "Yes! It's my turn to greedily horde resources; my turn to take bribes and sell out my fellow man; and, my turn to look the other way when health violations are violated by big business. Sure I was once poor, but not any more suckers!!!!" Clearly a case of Senioritis B.

The only solution is to quarantine the victims of this silent disease and to shut down public and private schools as well as most governmental offices, save the post office. Until a vaccine is found this is the only way to prevent the spread of this dangerous condition.

God Bless Everyone.


Nina Paley said…
I wish you were running for president right now, Parenta. You have SOLUTIONS. I don't want to have to wait until 2016!