Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Europe on $5 A Day

My paternal grandmother has a full time nurse from Eastern Europe taking care of her. Last night my father told me that this nurse has told her family back in the Czech Republic and Hungry how wonderful and nice my father's family is and that we are welcome to visit at any time. The nurse's family would be happy to take us around Budapest sight seeing and what not. My father the constant paranoid thinks this is just a ploy for the nurse's family to kidnap us. I thought sure that was possible, but is that really a problem?

Having a kidnapped vacation seems like a really cheap way to travel. I mean, the kidnapper's are putting us up on their dime. Sure, they are hoping it's merely an investment and that someone will pay a ransom which will turn them a profit, but it wouldn't be us paying the ransom. We'll probably be fed local, peasant cuisine. We don't have to go to some fancy shmancy resturaunt that might be a tourist trap to get a taste of Eastern Europe, which is potato fritters and meat or Italian food. The kidnapper's would be doing all the housework we wouldn't have to lift a finger, nor would we have to tip them for their housekeeping like one does when staying multiple days in a hotel. It is rather goash to tip your captivators. Much like a person doesn't tip the owner of a hair salon or bar. The biggest benefit to being kidnapped on a Eastern European vacation is the extra time off you get from work. I think it's against the law to be fired for being kidnapped. Further, if you ever do get released from your kidnappers you're employer would probably owe you back pay. They'd have to pay for your mostly free vacation. Sweet!

My father was able to see the silver lining, but thought that there was no one home that would pay the ransom. I asked, "What about your brother?" His wife, my aunt, has claimed that dad's bro and she have buckets of money. My father responded, "Yes, but we don't talk to 'what's her name' and it's really hard to transport a bucket full of currency overseas." I said, so we retire a little early in Eastern Europe and have free assisted living. I imagine the quarters might be cramped, but you get what you pay for.

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