Birthday presents will be Accepted All Month

That's right people it's my birthday. I am now officially 28 years old, for the last couple of weeks I've been responding to the question "how are old are you?" with "I'm almost 28." Now, I can respond simply, "28." Today, I'm one year closer to death. Yippee!

Also, I must say I woke up this morning feeling older and more mature. Yesterday, I had only been able to rent a car for 3 years, but now I've been able to rent one for four whole years. It's crazy how time flies. And in just a few short years I'll be too old for the draft. If you haven't sent me a birthday gift yet, don't worry I'll be accepting presents for the rest of the month. If you somehow lost my mailing address just email me at parentapresents@egocentricl.com. For my birthday I'm becoming a non-profit corporation so all gifts especially of the financial sort will be tax deductable. If you want a receipt just request that in the card under "Happy Birthday!!!"

How will I be spending the big day? Well, I was thinking of doing something special with my man Jack. I thought we could get checked for stds who the hell knows what that man picked up in the exotic locales he's been living in. I know we are such hopeless romantics. It nauseates some people.

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