Friday, July 22, 2005

Part of my Fall

I once fell three stories breaking my ankle. This is true. Shortly after I fell I found myself in the ER. While I lay in a hospital bed I remembered that I still had tampon in me. I freaked out. I said to myself. "I can't believe I survived a thirty foot fall only to die of toxic shock!"

An ER doctor finally made his way to my bed to figure out what was wrong with me. I explained my fall, and then told him about my growing toxic shock danger. He then asks me, "Are you pregnant?" Dude, did you go to medical school? And then I wanted to cry. It wasn't bad enough that my ankle felt like it was ablaze under my skin, but now you have to mock my sex life. Did I really need a reminder that (at that point in time) the last time I had had sex was three years ago. And I wasn't even sure if that had actually been intercourse. But it had to be. Otherwise, oh god. No it was. We're counting that awkward 2o seconds on the living room floor, people.

The men reading this blog are looking at my picture saying, "Come on, you could have had tons of sex in your early twenties. Just look at you. You're....Female."
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I think i lack endings to my stories.

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