Interview skills

I had two interviews yesterday for jobs that I really don't want but desperately need.

"Do you think you would want to work here?"-interviewer
"Do your checks bounce?"- me
"No."
"Cool. And you are near central park that'll be nice for lunch."

"Do you have any questions for us?"
"Do you have internet access? and is it restricted? How about freecell and solitaire is that loaded on the computer I'll be using? Is messenger already loaded or will i have to do that myself? I was also wondering if i'd have access to your stamps and fedex supplies? I have mailings to do once in while. Oh and do you have an endless supply of copy paper to print drafts of my anarchist treatise? I'll also need paper for the one woman show I plan to write while I'm answering the phone. And about that is it important I answer all the calls when they come in? Or if i'm really involved in the latest Kundera novel can I put the ringer on silent. I figure if it's important they'll call back. Plus you've got voice mail, right? Eventually I'll finish the novel."