So precious

July 2nd I was heckled by a 10 year old girl--they grow up so fast. I ripped her a new asshole, I don't care if it was "family-oriented" party. I figured if she's old enough to heckle she's old enough to have a new asshole, I'm sure her college boyfriend will thank me in a decade. She wanted to gong me. I could tell she was threatened by my talent. She had performed earlier in this pool-side gong show. I believe she recited the alaphabet or performed quantum physics. Whatever it was she didn't stand a chance against my joke about dating a guy named Ross and she should have just accepted my superiority.

In the end no one won. The show went on too long and by the time it was over everyone was too drunk to remember any of the acts never mind award a winner. I thought about burying the hatchet with the kid--splitting an ice pop or something, but when I found her she was already on her 4th tequilla and there was no talking to her. Which was fine I really didn't want to share my ice pop. Maybe if I smoked cigars we could have bonded.