Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Fitness

Question: Why do I bother to shower before I go out for the evening, when going out on the evening means getting on my steel bicycle and trecking 2-7 miles to my destination in the summer heat?

I think the only purpose my helmet, headlight, and rear flashing light serve is to ensure that when a car does hit me that I'll be quite rich and perhaps comfortable in my vegatative state.
-------------
Work Out Tips from a Thin Person.

1) break your ankle, knee, thigh, fibia, tibula or any other bone on a leg and then crutch around town. Crutch to where ever you have to go. Within in a month your abs, triceps, biceps, and muscles of one leg will be well defined if not ripped. The broken leg will atrophy but then it will be thin--and that's good too.

2) build by hand your own fall-out shelter. Do not use a shovel. Digging on your hands and knees will work your buttocks as well as your back, and the tendons that make up your fingers.

3) Ok this is a diet tip. Replace one meal a day with 2-5 liquor (not beer) drinks.

4) Surgically sow wheels to your feet and never drive again.

5) If having trouble motivating yourself to go for those marathon training runs, antagonize friends and strangers to the point that they want to beat you and then run. Spitting at people is a good way to start. Why injest the calories in saliva.

these tips might be the reason why I never really found my groove in the fitness world and am back temping.-- bitching on that tomorrow.

No comments: