In-law Avoidance

Jack went to Pittsburg this weekend to visit his family. I wiggled my way out of going, I explained I'm starting a new temp job Monday and I needed to take it easy this weekend. Which is exactly what my will power did, though the rest of me took life straight on. Three days of drinking, dancing and debauchery.

Jack said I'd be missed. Which was sweet of him, but who the hell knows if my future in-laws actually like me. Jack's parents are a hard couple to read. First off, Jack's dad, Graham, is an Indian Chief by profession. And no, he is not ethnically Native American. Turns out he majored in Management with a minor in Native American Studies at Penn State and ever since then Graham has been Indian Chiefing. It's all very weird, because he doesn't have a tribe. He kind of freelances as an Indian Chief, but I don't know that actual Indians hire him except on occassion as an consultant for CT casinos. All I know is that Jack "don't run with scissors" Kundera and his brother Michael "needs another bath" Kundera never wanted for anything growing up--Graham must have be fairly good as a freelance non-indian Indain Chief.

Graham's wife, Suzanna, is your basic homemaker having literarly built there Pittsburg home with her bare two hands. Before the boys were born she and Graham lived in a tent by the river for four and half years while Suzanna built the home they still live in. Before she and Graham were married she spent her high school and college years cutting down trees and making them into lumber. Her own kind of nest egg. After their honey moon she hammered every nail in the foundation and motored every brick--kind of amazing, if not completely unnecessary.

She's a little nutty though, for the last nine years she only speaks in nouns and adjectives. She has stopped using verbs, adverbs, conjunctions, interjections, prepositions ect. So it's hard to know if she "approves" of me or "likes" me, or "cares" about me.


JenIsFamous said…
OMG! A freelance non-Indian Indian chief. That is priceless.

Does Suzanne have moral beliefs that limit her to nouns and adjectives, or has she not noticed that she's lost her other parts of speech?