Censorship on the Homefront
This past Sunday I performed my comedy stylings at a sold out show at Mo Pitkins. My boyfriend Jack who is usually very supportive of my comedy was a little peeved. Ya see, in attendence was a British gentleman who Jack and I may or may not have gone on a couple of dates with this past summer. For a few months Jack and I were not clear on whether or not Jack and I were dating this guy. However, for the last 4 months I thought Jack and I were on the same page that this British guy and us were just casual acquantances. Turns out Jack was pining a little or something because he lost his cool Sunday night when we got home.
"Rachael, how could you do all those dating and sex jokes?"
"I don't think I did that many---"
"You made it seem like you've slept with a ton of guys."
"So what?"
"So what!!! Rachael, our British suitor was in the audience. He's going to think you've slept with a ton of guys. He'll stop pursuing us."
"Jack, he never was pursuing us."
"Not this again. He's just taking his time."
"9 months. What, are his intentions gestating in his womb?"
"Rachael, if he thinks you slept with all these different guys he won't think I'm special. I'm just another notch on your bedpost. He'll completely loose respect for me. Now if you only slept with me than you are very discriminating which means I'm very special because Rachael Parenta only choose me to sleep with."
"Jack, you've lost it. I can't help it if I wrote a handfull of jokes about two dudes I dated before you returned from your overseas do-gooder missions. If you want to email him my pathetic number of sexual conquests go ahead, but I think that would freak him out. Honey, if he judges you by the number of sexual partners your girlfriend has than he is not worth our time. I thought we put this gentleman caller behind us."
Jack ran out to the Key Foods and purchased a pint of ice cream and then watched some sex and the city.
Why are men such pussies?
"Rachael, how could you do all those dating and sex jokes?"
"I don't think I did that many---"
"You made it seem like you've slept with a ton of guys."
"So what?"
"So what!!! Rachael, our British suitor was in the audience. He's going to think you've slept with a ton of guys. He'll stop pursuing us."
"Jack, he never was pursuing us."
"Not this again. He's just taking his time."
"9 months. What, are his intentions gestating in his womb?"
"Rachael, if he thinks you slept with all these different guys he won't think I'm special. I'm just another notch on your bedpost. He'll completely loose respect for me. Now if you only slept with me than you are very discriminating which means I'm very special because Rachael Parenta only choose me to sleep with."
"Jack, you've lost it. I can't help it if I wrote a handfull of jokes about two dudes I dated before you returned from your overseas do-gooder missions. If you want to email him my pathetic number of sexual conquests go ahead, but I think that would freak him out. Honey, if he judges you by the number of sexual partners your girlfriend has than he is not worth our time. I thought we put this gentleman caller behind us."
Jack ran out to the Key Foods and purchased a pint of ice cream and then watched some sex and the city.
Why are men such pussies?
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