Pedantic Musings

A comedy acquaintance of mine likes to rail against monogamy. His main argument is that it’s not natural. He goes onto purport that no other animal on Earth is monogamous. Well, duiker species such as the one pictured to the left is monogamous. And if this was your adorable mate wouldn’t you demand s/he only see you? But let’s just pretend for a second that my colleague hadn’t studied intelligent design and was right about humans sole affinity for monogamy. We are also the only animals to build combustible engines, put them in aluminum contraptions, and then drive them around. We’re the only species to make pizza. We’re the only animals to purchase plane tickets on our own behalf and then of our own free will get on one and go somewhere. We’re the only species that makes the choice to live in apartment buildings. Humans are the only ones to have created polyester and then choose to buy it. But there this comedian is driving around NYC (talk about unnatural) in his car, eating a hot dogs, speaking paragraphs of English into a microphone. He doesn’t seem to have a problem with all those things.

I don’t even think people should be monogamous, but I also don’t think they should shy away from it. You’ve got to do what works for you and the people you’re involved with. But I’m sick of the argument that “it’s not natural” that it’s not “found in nature.” Frequently, the people who rail against life mating like to point the finger at women for being the proponents of the lifestyle choice, “If women would just loosen up and see the light everyone would be happy.” News, flash—Women cheat. Just listen to a Lightin’ Hopkins’ song. Women walk down the street and see an attractive guy and just want to bed him. They want the freedom to screw any dude they want anytime they want to. And guess what, stud? There are actually some men out there who would rather just court one lady. Crazy, I know.

And this is the only aspect of life where making a choice is frowned upon. There are people who have lived in the same town or city for their whole entire life. No one goes, “That’s not natural, most animals are nomadic.” There are people who’ve been in the same industry or had the same career, or even worked the same job their whole adult life. “Don’t they know that humans are they only creatures to work for an abstract concept of money.”

Is that boring? I don’t know. I’ve never committed to anything in my life except for karate and I even quit that for a few years in the mid-90s. But I returned and am glad I did, the learning never stops, nor the challenges. And karate is a hell of lot less complicated than a human being natural or otherwise.


Abby Scott said…
Sing it.

I'm so sick of this arguement.

You wanna go bed a bunch of people, go ahead. Just don't expect your girlfriend/boyfriend to be happy about it.
Allison said…
Seriously. Thank you.

Sometimes I think monogamy exists just because you cannot get shit done when you're dating a bunch of guys. Or at least I couldn't; too distracting.
K. said…
This is a really good post. I read your blog all the time (hope ya don't mind) but I never comment.

Nicely put.