What's new on Friendster

This is actually old news. But here's my little anecdote on the subject.

What's new on Friendster? Well, now all of a sudden you can now see who has viewed your profile. Which means people will know if you've viewed their profile--expressed interest in their existance. Yeah, so when I learned this I had a mild flip out. See the friendster people didn't give us any warning of thier plans to strip our anonymity. Instead, I log in one day and BAM! I could see the last 50 people who viewed my profile. Which means that everyone else on friendster could see if I had viewed their profile in the last month and half. I don't need this. I thought. "Shit did I ever get drunk one night and search for Brian Moon? If he sees that I've viewed his profile he'll think I still want to marry him." And I don't. I'm totally over him. Really I am. Sure I used to call him every day and tell him we were going to get married. But I'm over it. I was over it 22 years ago when he got placed in Mrs. Levy's first grade class and I got placed in Mrs. Rutherford's first grade class. Out of sight out of mind. OK not completely out of mind, but out heart. I've moved on. Sure I was upset that maybe he never viewed my profile. But I guess we never really dated. We just kind of talked on the phone. Or rather, I would talk...about our wedding plans.

I have a feeling I wasn't alone in my feelings of betrayal by the friendster. I think that maybe some 1000 or so internet stalkers complained because a couple of days later Friendster gave us the option of searching friendster anonymously. Whew! But I did not take friendster up on this option right away. One day bored at work (yes, I'm bored at work everyday but one particular day) I was searching friendster to see if any indie-rockstar types were signed up with the website. I found several including Mike Doughty, Stephen Merritt, Jeff Magnus, and Sean Eden guitar player for my favorite band Luna. Sean's profile read that he was looking for women to date. I thought about sending Mr. Sean Eden a little friendster message. I never grew the balls to actually send a message. But I never forgot he was on Friendster. So when this see who viewed your profile option became available on the friendster I viewed his profile openly. This way he'd see that Rachael Parenta had looked at his profile, then, hopefully, he'd get curious about the people who viewed his profile and go view their profile. He'd then see my picture and my witty little answers and fall madly in love with me and ask me out.

My plan had several problems, mostly having to do with the answers posted on my profile. 1st off their aren't many witty answers they are pretty straight forward. Secondly, my profile says I'm in a relationship. Which as you all know I am, with Jack. But I was hoping Jack wouldn't mind if I went on a date or two with the guitarist from one of my favorite bands. The other problem is that I wrote Luna (his band) in my answer to music I like. Well, no one dates their fans. (No one except Dudley Moore.) Fans don't love you for you. They love you for your art, and let's face it I'm no different. The only reason I have any interest in this guy is because he plays music I like. I don't know anything about this Sean Eden accept he's 40, a Pisces, and hasn't logged into friendster in 5 months. And that's the other rub. If he's not using the friendster he'll never know I looked him up and there falls the plan. God Damn you Friendster! And god damn BearStearns and all the other mindless temp jobs that have lead me into internet temptation.

If you have somewhat of a life and don't know what friendster is I'm sorry I can't explain it. Not because it's awesome, because it's not. Really it's pretty lame and pointless. But what else am I going to do? Get work done? Pshaw.


Allison said…
The lack of anonymity on Friendster is good! For at least two of my friends, it's been that little "push" that they needed to stop stalking their ex and get on with their lives. I'm not even making that up!
Will McKinley said…
Last night I had a dream that you opened up a lemonade stand in front of my dead grandmother's apartment building. I think there is a connection here.