Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Another One Bites the Dust

Yes, that's right folks yet another temp job has gone the way of a Hollywood romance. And when I type Hollywood romance I don't mean romances we see in movies, but rather the romances that occur between people who live in and about Hollywood--movie stars and crack addicts alike. We thought it would last a month but it turned out to last 2.5 days. It's funny how my life so frequently parallels Brittany Spears. She had a marriage that didn't last a week and I had a temp assignment at an investment bank that didn't last a week. It's like we're the same. Plus she has big breasts and I wear bras. Crazy I know.

This time to my credit I did not get fired. I used yoga to stay out of trouble. I utilized the bunny position. Basically, I'd go to work sit in my chair and stay very very still like a frightened bunny. Bunnies are wise and know if you don't move then the predator or your supervisor can't see you. And if they can't see you they can't eat you or give you work. I then had to use Jedi mind tricks to surf the internet all day. I'll tell you with all my skills like yoga, and user knowledge of the force you'd think they would have kept me on longer. But instead they decided to hire a human being, otherwise known as a permanent worker.

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When a temp assignment ends before you thought it would it's like dating a boy you weren't that into. Who then stops calling and emailing. The thing is you didn't notice he stopped making contact until someone asks "What's up with that guy you're seeing?"
"What guy?...Oh... Yeah, that's not happening."

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