Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Stormy Weather, I Think Not

This NYC winter has been pleasantly mild for the most part. Many of the days have been over 45 degrees, and I'm loving every minute of it. Environmentalists don't worry it's not a sign of global warming. We all know global warming is a slow warming trend that can only be detected decades at a time. The fact of the matter is my boyfriend Jack developed a weather machine in hopes of controlling weather patterns in NYC. Last winter, when he read emails of my suffering through bitter cold days brutal month after brutal month until Mid-April, his heart ached. At the time he resided in a far off land providing hankerchiefs to the runny nose tribes of Glandenead. He couldn't even offer up his body to help keep me warm. He vowed upon his return that I shall never suffer a full month of freezing temperatures again. So he taught himself meteorology, physics, biology, and mechanical engineering on his flight back to NYC. It was a long flight.

All summer long, while I thought he was practicing zen meditation in Prospect Park, actually, he was building a weather machine. It has worked pretty well thus far. Granted, there have been some mishaps like last week with the 60 mph winds. Oopsy. And then the batteries died during the transit strike, so I had to ride my bike to work in 27 degrees. It was too cold to go riding around New York to scrounge up 40 AAA batteries the machine needs to operate, but without those batteries we couldn't warm up the city to get the batteries. It was all very Josesph Heller.

Jack felt frustrated that week. But I laughed at the absurdity. I told him "I have your love to keep me warm, " The weather machine that's just a bonus.

4 comments:

rachael said...

crazy how you guys have internet access and yet no tissues.

I said...

Please send more hankerchiefs, we are in need. Or maybe Puffs, since we now all look like Rudolph.

Please Help!

Cheif Sinusesite of The Runny Nose Tribes of Glandenead

Charles said...

Also crazy how you commented about a comment that hadn't yet been made.

Mistress of Revels said...

Did Jack invent a time machine, too? Can I place an order? I think I'd like to go to 1919 for my next vacation.