One Random Old Joke

I have a friend who is just way too supportive. No matter what I say I'm bad at he's there to help boost my confidence. I mentioned how I’m such a bad liar. And he was like, “don’t say that about yourself.” You are a great liar. Hell, I never trust a word you say don’t sell yourself short.” What? And this other time I was talking about how I couldn’t give blood cause I didn’t weigh enough. He’s all, “sure you do, you’re huge. I barely thought you’d fit through the door.” Pete, I don’t feel bad about my weight. “And you shouldn’t you’re big boned and beautiful.” I’m so bad at one night stands. “Now how could you say that? You’ll sleep with anyone, remember that small handed fellow you were with?”
yeah but we were dating and it took us a like a month before we slept together. “Please you’re the biggeset whore I know. Don’t sell yourself short.” You’re just Fat lying whore and don’t let anyone tell you different.
Thanks, Pete.