Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Postive Thinking for 2007

This new years I decided not to look forward. I made no plans for 2007. I made no real resolutions for the next 364 days. Instead, I chose to reflect on my past. I made a list of all the great things I experienced because I chose to stalk boys I had a romantic interest in.

My list topped out at 14. Here are some of the highlights in no particular order but enumerated nonetheless.

1. New Orleans Jazzfest--It's is the best live music event I have ever attended. Who knows if I ever would have gone if not for a special small handed man. The tradition began as a stalking venture, but I continued to go year after year because it's awesome!

2. Tapestry Literary Magazine of Montville Township High School--Did I care about writing short stories and poems in high school? Maybe. But did I care if they were published in my loathsome alma mater's literary magazine? Definitely not. That is until the boy I was in love with became Tapestry's treasurer. If I had known at the start of high school that he would end up going to an Ivy League College I might have studied harder in high school. If nothing else I will die a published author.

3. Sex-- Once I stalked someone I was actually dating. If I had never stalked him I wouldn't have died a virgin. However, I would not have had sex that night.

4. The Boiler Room Portland, OR.-- While living in Portland, OR I found myself smitten with a degenerate alcoholic actor. He frequented a karaoke bar a mile from my place. I spent many a greenback at that bar in the hopes of "running into him." The first big plus was that I sang karaoke all the time. Before that I don't think I had ever indulged. Could you imagine going through and entire life without ever singing karaoke? The horror. I shudder to think of my life completely karaoke free.

I became a regular at this bar. Because of that they used to let me and select few other patrons drink hours past closing. I was also allowed to park my bike inside the establishment instead of having to lock it up outside in the elements. No wonder my bike looks years younger than it actually is. Also I didn't have to carry a heavy lock in my bike-bag. If I never became a regular at a bar who knows what state my back would be in by now. Further bonuses included free drinks, put promotional flyers and posters for shows I was doing, and get bumped to the front of the karaoke line, not to mention all the drama.

Say what you will about stalking, people. In my experience it's been nothing but puppy dogs and rainbows. OK puppy dogs and rainbows didn't actually make the top 14 but you get the metaphor--you get it because I'm a published writer.

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