Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Public Bladder Relief

I am pretty much a loner. And I love it because I hate most people. However, there is one drawback to being a loner--having to go to the bathroom while hanging at the coffee shop. When I have to pee I'm presented with a cundundrum. Do I take all my stuff with me to the bathroom so that my stuff doesn't get stolen risking the loss of my table. Or do I leave my stuff thereby securing my table but risking the theft of some or all of my stuff? If I journeyed to coffee shop with other humans I could leave one of them behind to watch my stuff and the table while I empty my bladder unencumbered.

Writing of the bathroom. Ladies do you ever walk into a public restroom to find the toilet seat up and then choose to leave it up because you're only going to do the "Squat/Hover Manuever" anyway. With the seat up you're less likely to leave evidence of urine on the seat. But then you don't want the random strangers who are outside waiting for you to think you peed with the seat up like you're some transvestite so after you're done peeing you lower the seat back down with your foot?

No me either. I just thought that someone could do that.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are not alone.

I boycott coffee shops for just this reason. Inevitably, after organizing my little bit of space just as I like it I have to pee. Then the cunundrum you posed occurs.

I am my own worst enemy.

rachael said...

i'm glad my work speaks to you.

anne altman said...

if it's my only option, the pissy stall, and not too bad off, i will do whatever i can with "toilet paper gloves" to make it nice for myself and leave it reasonable for others because....

i have no friggin' idea why.

perhaps it's low self esteem. my sister once threw a turd out the window of a bathroom at a houseparty b/c the toilet was clogged and she didn't want Mr/Ms. Next in Line to judge. I don't remember if it was her turd. does it matter?