Orange Alert Just in Time for Fall Foliage

The NYC subway system is under "Orange" alert. Why? The London Underground it ain't. NYC's subway is not some well oiled machine with regularly running trains at all. Hell, the trains don't even always travel along the routes that are depicted on the maps. How can you blow up a train if you can't even find it? How can you blow up the subway when your above ground on a shuttle bus from Park Street to Atlantic Avenue? Let's put this way I speak English and I don't even get this: The #2 and #3 Trains in the nyc subway system run up 7th avenue in Manhattan. The #4 and #5 trains run up Lexington Avenue. Due to maintance or construction the #2 train will be running up Lexington Avenue. Fine. OK. And the #5 train will be running up 7th Avenue. Huh? Are they maintaining a ghost track. If they are keeping trains running on both tracks why are they swithching the routes?

I have a feeling if the terrorists figure this shit not many of us will notice.


Anonymous said…
Actually, the London Underground is hardly a well-oiled machine either. The difference is that the MTA is *afraid* to shut down stations and such the way they do in London because there would be riots here. And there are no express tracks so one train stopping gums up the system.

As to the whereabouts of the 2 and 5, I have been on occasion rather shocked to learn I was on the 5 train when I got on at 72nd street and Broadway. I thought I had warped across town or something.
Will McKinley said…
Last night I had a dream that you opened up a lemonade stand on the L train platform at Lorimer Street. I think there is a connection here.
rachael said…
Will, I think you're psychic as I was near the lorimer street station last night.

Anonymous, I think you're Will.
Will McKinley said…
The preceeding comments were brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.